Dealing with damage before it wrecks you

July 5, 2020

Written: July 5, 2020 | Released: August 6, 2020 Many of the hard-to-replace things in life accumulate damage as time passes. It's critical to learn to detect and improve damage before these things fall apart. This requires a combination of vigilance (noticing the damage before it is really bad or even irreversible) and continually using effective strategies to repair what's broken. A car will accumulate damage over time, but even if you don't take good care of it, you can get a new one even...

Friction in Relationships from Misunderstanding the Mind

June 17, 2017

I've noticed that a significant amount of friction is created among friends and in romantic relationships due to inaccurate models of how the human mind works, and due to unrealistic expectations of the brain. Usually, these involve assuming that someone did something that you don't like on purpose when it would be more accurate to say they did the thing automatically (and they may need significant practice to change that automatic behavior). Of course, it's still up to that person (with yo...

Human Symbiogenesis

September 10, 2011

One of the most mutually beneficial states that two people can achieve is symbiogenesis, where they take such pleasure in each other's happiness (and displeasure in each other's unhappiness) that they start viewing each other's interests almost as their own. The more strongly this happens, the closer the pair is to being a single, two bodied organism, working towards a common set of goals. One remarkable benefit to such a state is that it allows for a level of optimal allocation of resources ...

If That Didn’t Solve Your Problems, Try Something Else

September 8, 2011

One of the big challenges to self-improvement is getting yourself to try a new strategy instead of the same thing over and over again. If you already experimented with calorie counting diets four times, only to gain the weight back after a few months, you'll be very likely to gain the weight back again next time you try this type of diet. If you tried to get yourself to exercise by buying a monthly gym membership, but barely used the gym in six months, the fact that you have a gym membership pro...

Finding Good Relationships Faster

August 21, 2011

For those who are interested in finding someone to date, a little probabilistic thinking can help a lot. To see how, let's take a moment to analyze the situation. Every time that you meet a new person, there is some chance that you will end up in a romantic relationship. If we want to assign a probability to this happening in any particular case, that probability will depend on the information that we know about both you and this other person. For instance, if we know that he or she is of a g...