On How to Process Your Emotions

December 20, 2020

We’ve all heard that you should take time to “process your emotions” and not “repress them.” But after a bad event occurs, what exactly does it MEAN to process your emotions? I think that, ideally, it involves a mix of these components: (1) Noticing: paying close attention to your negative thoughts instead of pushing them away or trying to ignore the bad feelings. What are the EXACT words running through your mind? How does it feel right now to be you? What do your body and mind feel li...

Seek the Root: how to handle requests more effectively

November 28, 2020

Written: November 28, 2020 | Released: September 3, 2021 When we're given a request, there is generally a deeper intention underneath it. If we get curious for a moment and think/inquire about why the request is being made, we can often provide more value. Example 1: Relationship Romantic partner: I'd prefer it if you respond to my text messages faster. Normal answer: sure, I'll try to do that from now on. Seeking the root: sure, I'll try to do that from no...

Thinking Through Harmful Situations

December 30, 2017

Possible solutions to a harmful situation you are in can usually be categorized into just four types. You can: Exit, Alter, React, or Reframe. To elaborate, if a situation is causing you harm, you can: (1) EXIT the situation so that it can’t harm you anymore. For instance, if you’re in a burning building, you can try to leave the building. (2) ALTER the nature or characteristics of the situation so that it harms you less, while still remaining in the situation, and otherwise behavi...