Common Misconceptions About Anger?

November 3, 2025

People often say things like the following about anger's relationship to other emotions - but are they B.S.? They say: "Depression is anger turned inward." "Anger is sadness's bodyguard." "Anger is just a manifestation of sadness." "There is an anger iceberg (anger on top, with sadness, fear, or shame beneath)." "In men, sadness and depression show up as anger." While there is debate about these ideas among people in the field, my opinion is that these statements are mislead...

The Four States of Distress: how should you comfort a friend or loved one in need?

June 1, 2020

(co-authored with Kat Woods) When a friend or loved one has something bad happen to them, what should you do to help them feel better? This question can be difficult to answer because it seems that at different times people want different things: empathy, problem-solving, optimism, distraction, and so on. See for instance this study where people give divergent answers about what they want from a friend after something bad happens. We propose that there are four general states that a perso...