Interestingly enough, we can program ourselves in this way, and it’s not even that hard to do. As a simple example, you can program yourself so that when you FIRST ENTER YOUR KITCHEN IN THE MORNING, you always DRINK A TALL GLASS OF WATER. Or you can create a rule in your mind so that when you TAKE YOUR FIRST BITE OF EACH MEAL, you DEEPLY SAVOR IT to get more pleasure from your food.

These if-then plans are sometimes known as “implementation intentions” in the psychology literature (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Implementation_intention) or TAPs (i.e., trigger action plans – a term used by the Center for Applied Rationality – see: https://www.rationality.org). Below, I share my own spin on this concept and describe how you can apply these if-then plans to make improvements in many different areas of your life, including health, learning, happiness, productivity, relationships, and rational thinking.

I’ll start with a quick, step-by-step guide to programming yourself, then list several of my favorite “self-programs.” Feel free to pick a few from the list to try yourself!

— Steps for Programming Yourself —

Step 1 – Choose

Choose a situation (S) and an action (A) that you’d like to take when you’re in that situation. For instance, the situation might be ARRIVING AT HOME AFTER WORK. The action might be PLACING YOUR KEYS IN A BOWL BY THE DOOR, so you always know where they are. See my list of self-programming examples down below for many more ideas.

Step 2 – Intend

Set an intention to perform that action (A) whenever you are in that situation (S). This means genuinely committing (to yourself) to take the action every time you encounter the situation. Note that there’s a subtle but critical difference between thinking about doing something and committing to doing it. You have to do the latter.

Step 3 – Associate

Now it’s time to create an association between the situation (S) and the action (A) so that when S occurs, A immediately pops into your mind. Basically, you’ll be mentally linking the two elements.

Here are a few strategies for creating this connection. The more of these strategies you use, the better. But they won’t all apply to all situations.

Strategies for linking the situation (S) and the action (A) in your mind:

• Create: If you can artificially create the situation, then do so repeatedly, following through with the action each time. For instance, if the situation is finishing brushing your teeth, and the action is flossing, practice holding your toothbrush to your mouth as though you just finished brushing, then putting down your toothbrush and immediately picking up the floss. Do this 20 times in a row to create the connection (A ⟶ S) in your brain.

• Imagine: If you are good at forming mental imagery, vividly visualize the situation occurring, followed by imagining yourself taking the desired action. Repeat this 20 times. If, in real life, you anticipate variations in how the situation plays out, modify your visualizations to include potential variations. That way, you don’t become trained on a too-narrow version of the situation.

• Write: Jot the if-then intention on a piece of paper, and leave it somewhere in your home where it is noticeable. When you get used to it being in that location to the point where you’re barely noticing it anymore, move it somewhere else in your home so that it stays fresh.

• Speak: repeat the phrase “whenever S occurs I’ll do A” 20 times (either aloud, or in your mind), replacing S and A with the corresponding situation and action.

• Review: make a list of all the if-then intentions you’re currently working to create in your mind, and review that list each morning, just after you wake up. Leave it on your bedside table or on your work desk so you can’t miss it.

• Motivate: make a list of the benefits (to yourself or others) of taking that action every time you are in that situation. This may increase your motivation to follow through with the plan.

• Involve: tell someone you trust that you plan to take that action whenever you are in that situation (ideally, someone who might be around when you are in that situation so that they can help remind you).

• Reflect: think about a time when you succeeded at making one of these if-then plans for yourself in the past. Take a minute to write about how you accomplished that. Now take another minute to write about how you could apply what you learned in that case to this new situation (this is the “Habit Reflection” technique: http://bit.ly/385cn5D). I think it’s more effective to actually do the writing, not merely thinking about what your answers would be.

 —

Step 4. Act

Every time you find yourself remembering to take the action in a given situation, actually do it! In the beginning, try hard to do the action every single time the action occurs (without missing any), as this will help establish a robust link in your mind between the situation and action.

 If you follow through consistently enough and keep it up for long enough, most likely, the action will eventually turn into a habit triggered by the situation. 

—

But what rules is it actually useful to program yourself with? 

Here’s my list of favorite “self-programs.” Some of these I’ve already installed as habits, others I’m still learning to associate with the trigger. Still others I merely aspire to one day have installed in my mind. Finally, hold value but don’t quite match my lifestyle, so I figure they are still worth including.

I’ve written each self-program in the form: Situation ⟶ Action

Meaning that you intend to perform the action every time the situation occurs.

— My Favorite Self-Programs —

HEALTH

* You enter the kitchen for the first time after waking ⟶ drink a tall glass of water

* You finish your first beverage in the morning ⟶ gently stretch a part of your body that has poor mobility or that is unreasonably tight for 1-2 minutes (e.g., It used to be my right shoulder, but, thanks to this habit, my decade-long shoulder problem is 90% resolved!)

* You close your eyes to try to fall asleep ⟶ breathe slowly and deeply, then gently focus your attention on your breath. Whenever you become distracted or find yourself thinking of something else, notice that it’s happened and gently refocus your attention back on your breath. Try to continue this until you’re asleep.

* You feel hungry before bed ⟶ eat carrots, nuts, or an apple (instead of junky snack food)

* You put down your toothbrush ⟶ floss or use a gum stimulator/rubber pick to clean between your teeth.

LEARNING

* Someone introduces you to an abstract idea that you don’t understand ⟶ ask if they could give you an example or if they could explain it using different words

* You learn something that surprises you ⟶ take a moment to consider what you previously believed about the subject (e.g., if your best friend does something that surprises you, ask them about the behavior, as it’s great opportunity to understand your friend better). Keep in mind that the sensation of surprise occurs when our perception of reality doesn’t match reality itself!

* You learn a new idea that seems worth remembering or have your own idea that seems worth remembering ⟶ jot down some notes about what you learned (ideally as simple flashcards), and be sure to review them at some point before you forget the idea (e.g., you can try out our beta tool at https://www.thoughtsaver.com to make this idea recording and reviewing process easier)

* You make a big mistake ⟶ take a few minutes to write about why you think the mistake happened (both immediate causes and deeper root causes), and what you can learn from it, to avoid making similar mistakes in the future. You can try out our “learning from mistakes” tool to make this process easier (see: http://bit.ly/3biQ3HN).

* Someone explains something complicated to you, and you’re not certain that you understand it ⟶ try to explain the idea back to the other person in your own words and see if they agree you understood it properly (e.g., “So are you saying that…”)

HAPPINESS

* You take your first bite of food at a meal ⟶ pay very close attention to the taste and texture, chewing slowly to deeply savor that first bite. We can get so much more pleasure from food if we direct our attention in the right way, upgrading meals from two-star to four-star, just by maintaining the right focus!

* You wake up in the morning ⟶ think about one thing you are looking forward to (it could be small, like your morning cup of tea, or large, like a big project you are launching in a month). This can help get you looking forward to the day.

* You lie down in bed for the night ⟶ think of one fond memory from your life. If you have trouble thinking of random fond memories, start with a random time frame (e.g., “last week”) or place (e.g., “the beach”) or activity (e.g., “sports”) and use that prompt to jog your memory.

* You leave your bedroom for the first time each morning ⟶ think of one thing you are grateful for.

* You finish checking social media ⟶ smile and think of something you think is good or something that makes you happy.

* You get a calf cramp ⟶ flex the toes on the corresponding foot towards your head (moving your heel away from you). This will often alleviate the cramp immediately (if that doesn’t work, drink a shot of juice from a pickle jar, which is, apparently, an effective alternative).

* You receive a nice compliment ⟶ write it down immediately so that you can get the benefit of experiencing it more than once. You can even keep a list of the best compliments you’ve ever received.

* You notice a sudden change in your emotional state (e.g., you start becoming anxious, sad, frustrated, or angry) ⟶ immediately give yourself the best quick explanation you can for why your emotions may have shifted. It’s often easier to figure out the cause if you ask this question immediately, compared to, for example, interpreting it 20 minutes later. I call this the “Inner Why” technique (you can learn more about it here: http://bit.ly/2uhJvc1)

RELATIONSHIPS

* Someone starts a conversation with you ⟶ fully focus on what the person is saying, giving them your complete and genuine interested attention (see: http://bit.ly/2SIPzBx)

* Someone you just met tells you their name ⟶ focus on the name as they say it with the intention of remembering it, then repeat their name back (e.g., “nice to meet you Sam”). This can really help with remembering people’s names. Even better, use the Tacayo Technique if you really want to remember their name (see: http://bit.ly/2upNxPr)

* You think something positive about a person that you are confident they would feel good hearing ⟶ send it to them as a message or say it to them directly, if practical. As the adage goes, “thinking something nice about a person without saying it, is like wrapping a present and never giving it.”

* You see someone you really like (e.g., a close friend) ⟶ channel your warm feelings for them and radiate those positive feelings on your face, your body language, and with your words, so that the person viscerally experiences how much you like them.

* You’re irritable and become provoked by something minor that someone does ⟶ take a couple slow, deep breaths before saying anything (so that you are less likely to take your mood out on the other person).

* You notice you’ve been talking for a long while in a conversation ⟶ redirect focus to the other person so that they have the opportunity to talk. Most people prefer a balanced conversation, so if you talk more than 60% (which a lot of people do, unfortunately), becoming more self-aware and considerate will markedly improve your relationships. Admittedly, I sometimes make this mistake when I’m excited about a topic (you can learn more about this preference people have, from a study I ran, here: http://bit.ly/2HcH7pr).

* You see your partner or roommate for the first time since they/you left for work ⟶ greet them affectionally and ask about their day with a genuine interest and a high level of focus.

* Someone is telling you about something that happened to them ⟶ employ active listening skills by asking questions that help them clarify their thoughts and elaborate on interesting or important details. In addition to demonstrating your interest in their life, this helps them relive their experience in a useful or pleasurable way.

* Someone you are close to unknowingly does something that hurts

you⟶ bring it up. Explain how you felt as a result of their action, why you felt that way, and what you would prefer them to do next time. Try to phrase this information in a way that is not accusatory. Stick to facts about what happened and how the facts affected you. Avoid derailing the conversation with potentially disputable assumptions (you can learn more about how to do this well here: http://bit.ly/39pIWM9).

PRODUCTIVITY

* You return home ⟶ put your keys, wallet, headphones, etc., in exactly the same place (so you can always find them).

* You’re about to finish a warm shower, and are feeling sleepy, yet you have a lot still to do. ⟶ turn the water to cold for the last 10 seconds to wake yourself and feel invigorated.

* You arrive at your work desk in the morning ⟶ put on headphones with energetic, non-distracting (e.g., acoustic) music to help get you motivated and in the zone.

* You read an email or message that would take less than 2 minutes to respond to ⟶ respond immediately, rather than procrastinating on the reply. This saves time because you won’t have to read or think about that message again, plus people generally prefer faster responses.

* You begin work for the day ⟶ write down the single most important thing for you to get done that day, which you hope to achieve even if you get nothing else done.

RATIONALITY

* You notice you are trying to convince yourself of something (e.g., “I’m too tired to go to the gym today” or “It would be too stressful to give that presentation”) ⟶ ask yourself instead “is this actually true? What’s evidence exists for and against this?” (try this tool to make this easier: http://bit.ly/31J4znR)

* You notice yourself thinking or saying, “I believe x” when a more accurate conclusion is crucial ⟶ ask yourself, “What percent chance would I actually assign to X being true?” (here’s a tool we helped make to help you practice this: http://bit.ly/39hq9lM).

* You’re making an important decision but you haven’t fully explored your options ⟶ force yourself to come up with at minimum a third option (or even better, apply our decision advisor tool: http://bit.ly/2yIjL96)

* You are learning about a politically or emotionally charged topic for the first time ⟶ seek out multiple sources of information from various perspectives, that are unlikely to have the same biases as each other. Otherwise, you may end up being heavily biased by whatever source you happen to read.

* You and another person strongly disagree about what’s going to happen in the near future ⟶ make a small bet with them. This forces you to consider how confident you are.

* You hear or read a weak argument in favor of a fairly popular view that you disagree with ⟶ try to come up with a stronger version of their argument (i.e., “Steel Man” the argument) so that you get a more nuanced perspective of both what’s wrong and what’s right about the view they are defending.

* You come across evidence for or against one of your beliefs and aren’t sure how much it should change your mind ⟶ ask yourself, “how many times more likely would I be to see this evidence if my belief was true compared to if my belief was false?” This number reflects the strength of the evidence, with 1 meaning the evidence is totally neutral (neither for or against the hypothesis), higher numbers (above 1) indicate more evidence, lower numbers (below 1) indicate less evidence (you can learn more about the proper way to interpret evidence here: http://bit.ly/38cN6GH)

So why don’t we always do what we know we should?

1. Habit. Have you ever tried to correct bad posture? At some point you’ll notice that your shoulders are hunched and you’ll make a correction, only to notice them hunched again two minutes later. Habits are behaviors that are done automatically. Frequently, we’re not aware of doing them as they occur, so our conscious mind doesn’t have the chance to stop them in action. Intellectually knowing what you should do won’t help if you aren’t consciously aware of what you’re doing while you’re doing it.

To permanently correct a bad habit, it often takes a large number of repetitions of a different behavior, in the context where you would normally engage in the habit. Eventually the old habit will be replaced with a new one. Ideally, you want it to be the case that the context automatically triggers the good habit.

Suppose that you are using an ineffective tennis swing. You would ideally practice a better swing a large number of times (starting without a ball, and then eventually doing it with a ball, and finally doing it while hitting back and forth with another player). Eventually, the correct motion would feel more natural than the incorrect one.

To give another example, suppose that you’d like to correct a habit of pronounce certain words incorrectly. Ideally, you would make a list of these words and the correction pronunciations, and practice saying each correctly a few times a day (to yourself, and then eventually in conversation) until the correct pronunciations no longer required thought.

An approach like this requires a lot of effort, and the willingness to put time into repetitive practice, but it can really pay off. Think about what habit you’d like to instill instead of the one you currently have. Now think about what you could practice to instill this new habit. For complex actions, the practice should be simple to start, and then grown in complexity as you master the basic components (e.g. practice your tennis swing without a ball before doing it with a ball). Finally, schedule time on your calendar to actually perform the practice. Note that one practice session very likely won’t be enough (you may need quite a lot of practice to overcome strongly ingrained habits).

Note that even if you don’t currently have a bad habit, it may be well worth it making an effort to install a good habit. Practice doing what you’d like yourself to do, in the context you’d like yourself to do it. Try to do this good behavior as consistently as possible, to make the new habit form faster.

2. Conflicting desires. You may want to lose weight, but you also want to eat that cupcake. To say you know you shouldn’t eat that cupcake, is to imply that overall, the weight loss is more valuable to you than the pleasure you’ll get from the cupcake. The problem is that when these two desires come into conflict at the moment while that cupcake is sitting in front of you, your desire for the pleasurable taste may win out. Since our desires shift due to context, it may well be the case that 5 minutes prior, when the cupcake hadn’t yet been placed in front of you yet, your desire to lose weight was in fact stronger than your desire to eat a tasty treat. But when you start to salivate at the sight of cupcake, your desires change in magnitude.

If conflicting desires cause you to do things that are not in your own long term interest, there are a few strategies you can try. First, you can try making your desire stronger for the good behavior. For instance, try vividly imagining yourself after having lost the weight and mentally basking in how good that will feel, and the benefits you will get from it. Immediately follow this visualization by a second one where you mentally contrast that desired state with how things currently stand. This second part is critical to help build motivation (rather than just basking in wishful thinking).

A second approach is to try to make your desire for the bad behavior weaker, for instance by imagining yourself gaining weight as you eat unhealthy food. The idea is to build a stronger association between your desire and the negative consequences associated with it, so that when the desire is triggered, the negative thought is triggered simultaneously, reducing your overall desire. One way to carry this out is to make a list of the negative consequences of the bad behavior, and then imagine each of these negative consequences occurring.

A third approach to dealing with conflicting desires is to try to arrange your environment so that your desires are unlikely to shift in a way that will yield behaviors that aren’t what you want. For instance, if you’re trying to lose weight, don’t keep unhealthy foods around your house, and don’t go to cupcake shops.

It’s worth noting, that sometimes we have conflicting desires that we aren’t consciously aware of. For instance, you might know that you should start searching for a job, but without having acknowledged it explicitly, be terribly afraid of rejection. Hence, you may find that you mysteriously become anxious every time you start looking at job postings, which leads you to procrastinate.

To better understand whether conflicting desires are involved in causing you to avoid what you know you should do, try the following exercise: Ask yourself “what are the benefits that I get out of NOT doing this good behavior?” Make a list of whatever you can think of. Doing this may make you realize that you have reasons for not acting that you weren’t even aware of. Now, make a list of the costs of not doing the desired behavior. Reflect on this list of costs and benefits, and reflect whether those benefits are really worth the costs.

3. Lack of motivation. Sometimes you’ll know intellectually that something would be a good idea to do, but for some reason feel an utter lack of motivation to actually do it. For instance, you may be aware that it is much more efficient from a learning perspective to take notes on articles and non-fiction books you read, and review those notes later (or better yet, make flashcards from them), than to merely read passively. But there’s a good chance that you don’t feel any significant motivation to actually take notes while you’re reading.

When lack of motivation strikes, it may help to perform a cost benefit analysis. Make a list of the benefits and costs of doing that action (compared to the baseline state of not doing it). Read this list over again. If the action really is worth doing, this list of reasons why you should do it may give you greater motivation.

You also might find it helpful to try to boost your desire through visualization (as in the conflicting desires case above). Visualize your future after you have done the desired behavior, and imagine the benefits that you are likely to get out of it. Now, remind yourself of how things currently stand, and mentally contrast this with the desired future.

4. Forgetting. You might know what is good for you, but simply forget to do it. For instance, for the last two months you may have been in desperate need of a haircut, but what with your busy life, you never think to make an appointment. Or maybe you made an appointment, but forgot to show up for it.

There are at least four strategies you can use to combat forgetfulness. First, write down whatever you want to remember, and put that note somewhere that you’ll be forced to notice it (e.g. stick it on your sock drawer).

Second, put the thing you need to remember in your calendar. So if you think to yourself that you need a haircut, but right now its after business hours, put a reminder in your calendar to book one tomorrow at 10am.

Third, for important things that you keep forgetting to do (especially major things that you really aren’t looking forward to doing), you can ask a friend to act as an enforcer. Tell them how important it is for you to do this thing, and when you want to have it done by. Ask for their help with making sure you get it done, giving them free reign to nag you as much as is necessary. This social pressure can be very effective for some people.

The fourth, and best strategy, is to (whenever possible) act immediately at the moment when you do remember what you should do. So when you happen to recall that you need a haircut, don’t assume that you’ll remember to make an appointment tomorrow, just pick up the phone immediately and book it. You’ll likely be better at getting yourself to act immediately if you start viewing your brain as a buggy machine, which occasionally forgets important things for long periods (I know mine does, at least). Taking this perspective means that when you remember something important that you should do, you can’t just assume that your brain will eventually take care of it. If you don’t act now, who knows when you’ll remember to do it again, if you ever even remember to act at all. So act now, to save yourself from your buggy brain later!

5. Lack of knowledge. Even if you know what you should do to improve your life, you may not know how to do it. For instance, you might want people to view you as being more confident, but have little idea how to get yourself to act in a more confident manner. If you keep telling yourself what you “should” do, but you don’t know the steps to carry it out, you’re unlikely to change your behavior for the better.

When you lack sufficient knowledge as to how to achieve a behavior, take steps to correct your lack of knowledge. Ask someone who knows more, or do some research online, or try breaking down the action by taking twenty minutes to write down the small, simple components that make up whatever you’re trying to do. Even very complex actions can usually be broken into simple steps, each of which is fairly straightforward. For instance, suppose you want to learn to write computer programs, but you don’t know the first thing about programming. You might break this task up as follows: Step 1. Talk to friends who are knowledgable about computer programming, and ask them what programming language you should learn based on your goals. Step 2. Install the required software on your computer in order to be able to write programs in the language that your friends suggested. Step 3. Google to find a few tutorials on the language. Run them by your knowledgable friends to see which tutorial they think looks best. Step 4. Complete one of these tutorials on the language. etc.

To get yourself to do what you know is good for you, the first step is to diagnose what is holding you back form acting. Are you trying to break a bad, sticky habit? In that case, you may need to devote time to practicing a better habit to replace it. Are you dealing with a case of conflicting desires? If so, use visualization to increase your desire for the good action and reduce your desire for the bad action, while you try to avoid contexts that cause your desires to flip in a way that is counterproductive. Are you feeling a lack of motivation to behave how you know you should? Write down a list of pros and cons for the good action, and try visualization to increase motivation. Do you keep forgetting to do the desired behavior? Put notes in places where you’ll be forced to see them, use your calendar to schedule when you’re going to do your helpful behaviors, and try to build a habit of acting immediately when you remember something important to do. Know what you want to do, but lack the knowledge how to do it? Ask those who know more than you do how to start, do some research, and try to break the task down into simple, easy steps.

Unfortunately, all of this advice is problematic: what if you don’t feel like taking the advice, or you do want to take it but will likely forget to do so? What if you have existing habits that will make taking this advice difficult? In other words, how do you get yourself to do what this article says you should? The solution is to set the stage right now for following this advice in the future. Namely, apply the advice of this article, right now, to get yourself to take this article’s advice in the future.
Perform the following steps (right now!) so that you can benefit later:

Step 1. Consider the following reasons for not acting. Which of these do you think is most likely to prevent you from acting on the advice from this article?

(1) Habit (you have existing habits that may stand in the way).
(2) Conflicting desires (you have desires that conflict with your desire to take this advice).
(3) Lack of motivation (you don’t feel motivation to do what this article says).
(4) Forgetting (you are likely to forget to follow the advice of this article).
(5) Lack of knowledge (you don’t know how to follow this article’s advice).

Step 2. Go and reread the section of this article corresponding to whatever you selected in Step 1.

Step 3. Schedule at least two different times on your calendar for when you are going to do what that section you reread suggests.

Step 4. Schedule a time on your calendar when you are going to reread this entire article.

Step 5. When the scheduled events come up on your calendar, actually do them!

These circumstances can be explained, at least partially, in terms of desires changing and conflicting with each other. What we want when we consciously reflect on a situation sometimes differs from what we want when we are actually in that situation. And our desires can oppose each other, either simultaneously, or at different times. Desires push our actions in one direction for a while, only to push them in the opposite direction later on.

Tourette Syndrome can provide a particularly striking example of simultaneously wanting and not wanting. A small fraction of people with this syndrome have an extremely strong urge to yell obscenities (which apparently can feel almost like the desire to scratch an itch). In some cases they are able to learn to hold off the impulse (for instance when the social context makes it particularly inappropriate), but the desire to curse may still win out a few seconds later. The conscious desire not to offend people by cursing is at war with another, very powerful desire.

Let’s consider the case of a woman who eats excessively and hates this about herself. When she’s full, but good tasting food is sitting in front of her, does she actually want to keep eating? When she thinks about it consciously she probably experiences a strong feeling of “not wanting” associated with the idea of eating large quantities. At the same time, when she looks at the food, there is likely an intense desire to keep consuming it. She also may have habits which promote overeating: going to restaurants that serve large portions, selecting foods with high calorie density, eating quickly, eating the entire amount on her plate, eating while distracted by other activities, and so forth.

If we consider the fact that desires change from moment to moment and can come into conflict with each other, it is not hard to see why people get stuck in loops of oscillating desires. You don’t want to do X when you reflect on it, then end up doing X anyway because a new desire arises at the moment of action, then you regret it afterwards when you reflect further. This cycle can repeat for months or years.

Let’s again consider the case of the woman who overeats. Her experience might be as follows. When reflecting consciously, she doesn’t want to overeat, but when food is in front of her, a new desire springs to life. The desire to eat more is now suddenly greater than the reflective desire to not overeat, so she eats too much. In fact, if she is not actively thinking about her desire to not be someone who overeats, that desire to eat less may not be engaged at all. And if she is consciously reflecting at the time, she may start to make excuses for herself, such as “I’ll eat whatever I want now, and just eat less tomorrow to make up for it.” Afterwards, the desire to eat has diminished or disappeared, so when she consciously reflects again she regrets the fact that she eat too much and vows not to do it again. Then the entire pattern repeats because the vow is not enough to make her reflective desire win out over those momentary urges to eat.

Why is it that at times your conscious, reflective desires beat out your momentary desires, and other times they get trumped? A variety of factors likely affect the outcome, including:

• The relative “strengths” of the two desires
• Your present mental state (including level of hunger, fatigue, discomfort, emotional arousal, and so forth)
• The frequency with which you engages in conscious reflection, and whether you happen to apply it during the current situation
• Your propensity towards delaying gratification
• The number of times (and how recently) you let this momentary desire trump your reflective desire (i.e. the strength of the habits you’ve formed)
• Your overall ability to override impulses with conscious thought

Why do our actions conflict with our conscious desires in the first place? It’s a necessary consequence of the fact that many different forces compel us to act. These forces include:

• Primal drives. We yearn for food, sex, social status, etc.
• Emotional responses. We want to avoid situations that makes us anxious, and attack people that make us angry.
• Instinctual and automatic responses. We pull our hand away from a hot stove, turn to look when a loud noise occurs, and scratch our skin when it itches.
• Habit. When we’ve taken the same route to work twenty times in a row, we continue taking that route without even thinking about it.
• Conscious reflection. We may long for a world where people don’t starve, and so volunteer at a non-profit organization, or want to be a person who exercises more often, and so buy a gym membership.

Our conscious reflections about what we want can conflict with each of these forces, and with each other. For instance:

• You want to think of yourself as a good person who doesn’t steal but also want to download music files without paying for them.
• You don’t want to cheat on your girlfriend, but you feel strongly attracted to a particular woman.
• You want to make more friends, but it stresses you out being in social situations with new people.
• You want to be a great boxer, but you flinch whenever your opponent feints a punch.
• You want to walk with better posture, but you keep falling into your habit of slouching.

What can we do when we find ourselves stuck in a loop where we don’t want to do X, then do X anyway due to momentary desires, then regret it? In other words, how do we get our actions to more closely align with what our conscious, reflective mind wants? Here are some techniques that can be useful:

• Social reinforcement. Tell someone else how you want to act, and get them to check on you regularly to make sure that you act that way. This can be especially effective if you have a strong desire not to let this person down. This creates a secondary desire (pleasing another person) that works in the same direction as your conscious, reflective desire.
• Avoid acting while in fragile mental states. When you’re feeling tired, uncomfortable, hungry, stressed, or emotional try to avoid those situations where your conscious mind will need to override strong conflicting desires. In these delicate states it may be harder to get your thinking to control your actions.
• Activate your conscious mind more often. The more frequently you can get yourself to engage your conscious mind during an action and reflect on what you value and why you value it, the better chance you’ll have of overriding momentary desires that come up. One strategy is as follows: If there are times when you expect to experience strong momentary desires, you can setup phone alerts/reminders to snap you into a conscious state. For instance, if you’re going to a business meeting at a restaurant where the wine will be flowing, and you’re worried you might drink too much, set your phone to vibrate with a message ten minutes into the dinner to remind your conscious mind that you shouldn’t have more than a glass or two. You might even include in the phone reminder the reasons why drinking more would be a bad idea (to increase your motivation).
• Positive reinforcement. Reward yourself for acting in ways that are in closer alignment to what your conscious mind values. To boost effectiveness, try to make these rewards come as quickly as possible after you do your good behavior. For instance, if you know that you should get to work right away every morning, but have trouble doing so, take that first sip of delicious morning coffee right when you sit down to begin you’re work (and don’t let yourself drink any before then).
• Break old habits. During times when your conscious mind happens to be in particularly strong control, start to break bad habits by putting yourself in the situation where your momentary desires typically take over, and purposely override them. So, if you’re feeling powerful, go to the store that sells those amazing cupcakes you usually can’t resist. Look at one closely, take a whiff of its delicious smell, and feel yourself salivating. Now walk out without buying one!
• Build new habits. Sometimes undesirable habits can be subverted without fighting them directly by simply forming new habits to replace them. If you’re accustomed to spending two hours watching TV every night starting at 8pm, and this is something you don’t like about yourself, try to create a habit of sitting down to read a useful book at 7:45pm. After you’ve done this for enough nights in a row you will have replaced your watching habit with a reading one, and it will no longer be difficult to avoid watching two hours of TV a night .

Our actions can substantially deviate from what our conscious, reflective desires imply we should do. But our conscious mind doesn’t have to take this lying down. By planning ahead, and applying techniques like those mentioned, you can give your conscious desires an improved chance of trumping competing forces that compel you to act. While your conscious mind is in control, you can make arrangements to handle situations where it most likely won’t be.

Click here for the talk slides.

It could be the case that we almost always act for good reasons, and that our explanations accurately reflect these reasons. But let’s consider an alternative hypotheses. Let’s suppose that much of our decision-making is influenced by factors that seem like they should be irrelevant, but that affect us below the level of conscious awareness. In that case, our attempts to explain our own behavior would often be incomplete. We would attribute our decision to X, when in fact Y and Z were also factors, perhaps as important as X. But, since we would be unaware of Y and Z, it might seem to us like our explanation X was complete.

So how could one test this hypothesis, that people are frequently influenced by factors which they don’t notice are altering their decisions? One approach is as follows. Randomly divide a population of people into two groups, A and B, of roughly equal size. Put everyone from both groups into nearly identical situations, with the only difference being that the experience of people in A differs in a single respect from the experience of those in group B. Choose this difference to be one that participants are unlikely to believe could have a significant chance of changing their behavior, but which you as a researcher think could in fact alter behavior in a specific way. Now see if the behavior of people in group A differs strongly in the predicted way from the behavior of those in B. If it does, this is evidence that we sometimes act for reasons that we don’t understand, and that our self reports of why we act may be inaccurate or incomplete.

Many studies of this basic format have been conducted, some with quite disturbing results. Consider the following scenarios:

• An ordinary looking man comes up to you on the street and asks you for a dime. Take a moment to think of what factors would influence your decision as to whether to give him the money. Would you be influenced by how he is dressed? By whether he smiles? What behaviors could this person do to make it much more likely that you would comply?
• A stranger asks you on a date, or asks you to dance at a club. Presumably your decision of whether to agree might depend on how good-looking you think the person is. But what other, subtler factors, might influence your decision?

It turns out that a powerfully influential factor in these cases is whether the person gives you a brief touch on the upper arm when making their request. As Richard Wiseman notes in his book 59 seconds, researchers have consistently found effects from physical contact. In one such study, a person asking for a dime was 20% more likely to get the money when they asked with a quick touch than without. In another study, 1.5 times more women accepted an offer to dance when a touch was used than when it wasn’t (with the acceptance rate jumping from 43% to 65%). A third study found that when attractive men asked out women on the street, their success rate doubled from 10% to 20% when they used a brief touch. People would never say “I decided to go out with him because he touched me on the arm”, and yet, it seems that about half of the women in the “touch group” of this latter study would in fact not have accepted the date without that momentary touch. Presumably, few if any of the women realized this.

Another fertile source of insight into decision-making is the book Yes!, on the tactics of persuasion. Consider these scenarios:

• You are staying in a hotel and find a note that asks you to reuse your towels (as opposed to leaving them to be cleaned) in order to help protect the environment. You’d expect your level of devotion to environmental causes to influence whether you comply. But could it be the case that an alteration to the note could make your compliance much more likely? In one study, it was found that simply mentioning that the majority of people who stayed in your hotel room followed the request caused a 33% increase in people reusing towels. Yet, if these hotel guests were asked why they agreed to reuse their towels, it seems unlikely that many would say it was because other people did it too. We often subconsciously take cues from others which influence how we act.
• You get a phone call one day from a group conducting a study for a “public service publication”, and they would like you to participate. The person on the phone says that participation will involve “five or six men from our staff coming into your home some morning for about 2 hours to enumerate and classify all the household products that you have.” What simple trick could this organization use to substantially increase the chance that you will say yes? It was found that when homeowners were called three days before this request in order to give them a phone interview about their product use for the same publication, they were 2.4 times more likely to agree to the later, much more invasive request. Those who didn’t receive an earlier call agreed to allow the surveying men to come 22% of the time, compared to 53% of those who did receive an advance call. And yet, it seems unlikely that those people whose behavior was altered by the non-invasive phone survey would be aware that it was an essential ingredient in their decision. Agreeing to do something small can unwittingly make us far more willing to do a similar but much larger thing later on.
• You receive a survey in the mail, sent by a stranger, along with a typed request that you complete it. Presumably, if you find the survey topic interesting, you may be more likely to do so. But regardless of your interest level, what variable could the sender change to make you much more likely to fill it out? In one study it was found that if a handwritten sticky note was attached that requested the survey be completed, the chance that the survey was returned was more than doubled, from 36% to 75%. The slight increase in effort and personal touch of attaching a hand written sticky note made people substantially more likely to want to help out.

Do these sorts of effects only hold on unimportant choices? Let’s consider some decisions where money or lives are at stake.

• You are interviewing college students for a job. Presumably you will take into account their quantity of work experience and grade point average. And yet, in one study, total months of work experience and grade point average did not have a statistically significant effect on whether candidates were offered a job. What did have a significant positive effect was whether the candidates tried to ingratiate themselves with the interviewer (e.g. by conforming to the interviewers opinions and offering favors). We naturally want to hire people that we feel positively towards, even when we believe ourselves to be evaluating them on objective criteria.
• You want to buy a subscription to the economist. You can choose the web only version for $59, or for $125 get the print version which also includes web access. Which would you select, and why? Surely after the fact you would be able to explain why one would be more right for you than the other. But as Dan Ariely discusses in his book Predictably Irrational, when he conducted a study on this scenario he found that adding a third subscription option which nobody selected massively altered people’s behavior. If a $125 print only version is included as an option, which is similar to the $125 print-and-web option but strictly worse, the preferences of subjects switched from 32% favoring the print-and-web version to a whopping 84% preferring it. The latter group thought they were choosing for good reasons, but in fact many of them changed their minds due merely to the decoy option being offered. The decoy option was clearly worse than the print-and-web version, therefore making the latter look more compelling positive on a relative basis, even though no one wanted the decoy.
• It is your job to determine how many years someone should go to jail for illegally entering her neighbors apartment and stealing money and merchandise. Your judgement will be based on a description of the crime, as well as a photo of the criminal and routine demographic information about her. What factors do you think will alter your decision of how long a sentence you’d apply? When such a study was conducted on undergraduate students, it was found that when the photograph of the criminal was switched from an attractive woman to a substantially less attractive woman, the average prison sentence that the students assigned increased by a factor of 1.9, from 2.8 years in jail to 5.2 years. The average sentence that the less attractive photo produced was about equal to that of a control that was identical except that it included no photograph. Beauty and ugliness can substantially distort our perceptions of other people, even with regard to traits that have nothing to do with a person’s looks.
• You’re again given the task of determining the sentence that an accused criminal should receive based on details about their case. You’re also given the prosecutor’s sentencing demand, but you know this demand is random, because you determined it yourself by rolling a pair of dice and summing the values. Surely, the sentencing demand wouldn’t influence the sentence you would give. Right? In one such study, the sentences that lawyers gave in such a scenario were almost 1.5 times higher when their dice came up with high values than when the dice had low ones (the mean sentence rising from 5.3 months to 7.8 months). The values we assign to things can be substantially influenced by suggested “anchors”, even when we know intellectually that those anchors are irrelevant.
• You’re filling out a form and have the option to sign up as an organ donor. One might imagine that your sense of obligation to other people might come into play. But could the way the form is written have a large impact on this weighty decision? In one study, when people were presented with opt-out organ donation forms (or ones where a choice was forced) people said they would be willing to donate their organs at twice as high a rate compared to if they were presented with an opt-in form. Furthermore, it was found that out of a sample of 11 countries, all 4 countries that use an opt-in organ donation procedure had organ donation rates lower than all 7 countries with opt-out procedures. Yet, it seems unlikely that many people attribute their organ donation choices to whether or not they had to check a box. Sometimes the default or “standard” choice, can have a powerful effect on what we decide.

These studies, and the many others like them, raise serious questions about the extent to which we understand why we make the choices that we do. Seemingly irrelevant or unimportant information seems to powerfully alter our behavior in a wide variety of circumstances. Those influences that are subconscious are particularly pernicious, because their very nature prevents us from noticing how they affect us.

So the next time you think you know why you made a decision, don’t be so sure that the story you tell after is the actual story.