Comments on: People often ask – why do girls like bad boys? But do women like bad guys, or do they actually prefer “powerful good guys”?

By: Hassan

Hassan — Tue, 10 Feb 2026 07:18:00 +0000

In reply to Aaron. this is very spot on, a lot of what people think is "bad" on a surface is actually what makes certain people more desired than others

By: John Traynor

John Traynor — Tue, 13 Jan 2026 12:44:44 +0000

Interesting. Thats really got me thinking. I think also mean men can often have a higher social status than nice men and this can often be attractive to women.

By: None

None — Sun, 23 Nov 2025 16:47:50 +0000

In reply to Spencer. Bullshit

By: Sarah

Sarah — Sun, 26 May 2024 07:17:39 +0000

I think you’re spot on about the traits many women find attractive. In particular, I appreciate the nuance you’ve captured in parentheses following each point – I seldom see those caveats discussed in places where men weigh in on these topics, which is a shame because they really matter. For example, projecting confidence and power are so much more attractive when they come from a place that is pro-social, authentic, and non-coercive. And if I had to add anything to your list based on my personal experiences as a women and from what I’ve observed from the women I know, it would be sociability and conversational ability in general. On the former, women (not all, but on the whole), tend to be community and relationship oriented. It’s incredibly attractive to most women when a man also embraces these priorities. Men who pour energy into their family, friends, and communities and can show their love for people are likely going to be more appealing to the majority than those who are more solitary and anti-social. And in terms of conversational ability, pretty much every women I know has rejected a guy at some point in their life because he lacked the ability to hold an engaging conversation or demonstrate curiosity/presence. That’s not to imply all women are highly skilled in this department by comparison, but rather to suggest that strong social/verbal skills are on balance incredibly attractive to most women. Every women will tell you it’s a serious turn on to be asked questions and listened to on dates.

By: Aaron

Aaron — Fri, 15 Mar 2024 14:05:02 +0000

It helps to always bear in mind survival, the kind of man who propagated his genes in the environment of evolutionary adaptiveness. He could win dominance competitions if necessary, so he was tall and strong (and these things are older), but also had social skills and prestige. He had a map and model of the world in his head that actually led to the flourishing of his nearest and dearest. Why would he not have confidence in his plan and command others to do so too? It’s a matter of life and death. So, he has a set of high-precision beliefs. We evolved an optimism bias in general because it’s better to be overconfident than underconfident. This all takes place in a context of violent intergroup (and some intragroup) competition where failure means death. Even a slight increase in risk-taking yields benefits. Who dares wins.

When you bear in mind that context, a lot of these attractive traits start to make sense. In what sense is a man who causes the flourishing and survival of his offspring and tribe “bad”?

At the same time, these traits have no more legitimacy than does sexual jealousy or the male preference for sexual variety. So, we should leverage consensual and prosocial versions of them, but not identify with them to a harmful degree.

By: Spencer

Spencer — Fri, 02 Feb 2024 01:02:47 +0000

In reply to Vitor Correia. I'm not sure if you're intentionally disagreeing with my post or not but what my post is about is that a lot of what (many, though not all) women are attracted to with regard to "bad boy" behavior/traits is not unique to bad boys and there is a non-toxic form of it.

By: Vitor Correia

Vitor Correia — Mon, 29 Jan 2024 20:54:28 +0000

I wonder why *toxic* masculinity is as decried as it is. After all, that’s what women like!… And there’s a biological explanation for that… Into the *woke* atmosphere, women’s preferences become *sins*. But that’s fine, *sins* are turn-ons!

By: Kate

Kate — Mon, 29 Jan 2024 09:06:11 +0000

“He’s an asshole to everyone but me, so that makes me special!”, and “Normally no one woman can satisfy him, that’s why he’s a philanderer, but his desire for me is so strong that he’ll commit just to me!” and “I know he’s bad, but I can fix him!”:
These are also common plots of movies, books, etc., which makes me wonder how much of this is attraction (what women want) or simply socialization (what women have seen what other women want). Of course this is impossible to separate in practise but I would definitely be interested in seeing different storylines!