I think that almost everyone has beliefs that are essentially unchangeable. These don’t feel to us like beliefs but like incontrovertible truths. Counter-evidence can’t touch them. They are beliefs we can’t change our mind about. I call these “Anchor Beliefs.”

When Anchor Beliefs are false, we distort reality to fit them. So, what distortions do some reasonably common Anchor Beliefs cause?

Anchor Belief 1: “I’m entirely good” or “I don’t do unethical things”

What happens when someone with these Anchor Beliefs acts highly unethically? Well, since the Anchor Belief can’t change, that means the action must have been ethically okay to do, or else it was someone else’s fault or impossible to avoid. Victim blaming, denial, or shirking of responsibility ensues.

“My whole foundation, life, what I believed in, devotion to the company, was based on believing [Ramesh Balwani] was this person…He told me he didn’t know what I was doing in business, that my convictions were wrong…There was no way I could save our company if he was there…We were trying to do the right thing. We were trying to report results that we believed in and not report results if we thought there was any issue” -Elizabeth Holmes, who was found guilty on four counts of defrauding the investors in her company, Theranos

“All I ever wanted was to love women and, in turn, to be loved by them back. Their behavior towards me has only earned my hatred, and rightfully so! I am the true victim in all of this. I am the good guy.” -Elliot Rodger, in his manifesto about why he planned to commit murder before murdering six people.

Anchor Belief 2: “I’m not good enough”

What happens when someone with this anchor belief gets a great job, performs really well, or achieves success? Well, it must have been a fluke or mistake; eventually, others will figure it out. Imposter syndrome ensues.

“No matter what we’ve done, there comes a point where you think, ‘How did I get here? When are they going to discover that I am, in fact, a fraud and take everything away from me?” – Tom Hanks, winner of two consecutive Academy Awards for Best Actor

“I have written 11 books, but each time I think, ‘Uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.” – Maya Angelou, legendary poet and winner of the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

Anchor Belief 3: “This thing I’ve devoted a great deal of time/energy/identity into works and is good” [that doesn’t work or is harmful]

What happens when it’s criticized? The criticism must be bad faith. Any imperfection in counter-evidence fully invalidates that evidence. Confirmation bias, cherry-picking, and motivated reasoning ensues.

“Those who have attacked my work on Vitamin C are scoundrels.” – Linus Pauling, two-time Nobel prize winner, defending his theory that vitamin C cures cancer and heart disease.

“We do not find critics of Scientology who do not have criminal pasts…Politician A stands up on his hind legs in a Parliament and brays for a condemnation of Scientology. When we look him over we find crimes – embezzled funds, moral lapses, a thirst for young boys – sordid stuff. Wife B howls at her husband for attending a Scientology group. We look her up and find she had a baby he didn’t know about.” – L. Ron Hubbard, founder of Scientology

Anchor Belief 4: “My group is good.”

What happens when their group does something really bad? The victims must be lying or have deserved it. Or acting badly must be justified in this case because it’s done for some more important greater good. Denial of and justification of immoral actions ensues.

“When we show a statement by Donald Trump that’s not truthful, Republicans will say it’s okay if it’s not true because it sends the right message, whereas Democrats will say that a statement needs to be factual…With a statement from Joe Biden, Democrats will say it’s okay if it’s not based on evidence, that it supports a generally true message, while Republicans will then have a higher bar and say every statement needs to be based on facts.” – Ethan Poskanzer, based on his studies on moral flexibility

So, what are the takeaways here? I think that the following three things are important and true:

(1) Almost everyone has at least one Anchor Belief – a belief that is so sticky that it’s nearly impossible for it to change in the face of even extremely strong counter-evidence. Some people have more of these, and perhaps a small number of people have none, but I think Anchor beliefs are a near-universal among us humans.

(2) When our Anchor Beliefs are false (or partially false), because the beliefs won’t change, we distort reality when we get evidence against them in order to keep them intact while also somehow “making sense” of that counter-evidence.

(3) By looking at fairly common Anchor Beliefs people have, we can start to understand some recurring distortions in people’s thinking. Since people’s Anchor Beliefs are fixed but reality sometimes provides strong counter-evidence against these beliefs, that leads to predictable patterns of distortions that people’s minds deploy to keep the beliefs intact around those Anchor Beliefs.

In particular, I think that we find:

• Anchor Beliefs related to being good may lead to victim blaming and denial of responsibility.

• Anchor Beliefs about not being good enough may lead to imposter syndrome.

• Anchor Beliefs about something we’ve invested a lot of time/energy/identity into working on and being good may lead to confirmation bias, cherry-picking, and motivated reasoning.

• Anchor Beliefs about our group being good may lead us to deny or justify immoral actions by our group.

There are no strong studies that I’m aware of that identify or map out anchor beliefs and their frequency in the population – I believe the points above are true based on my experiences and observations.

This piece was first written on August 13, 2024, and first appeared on my website on September 2, 2024.

Using the analogy of being trapped in an actual pit, the guide below sorts these eight pitfalls into three different kinds: Beliefs Traps, Social Traps, and Avoidance Traps & Desire Traps.

Psychological Traps

Belief Traps: pits of belief

These traps result from false or unacknowledged beliefs we have about the world, which hinder our ability to see a situation for what it is. 

(1) Truman Show You don’t realize (or have forgotten) that you’re stuck in a pit. As far as you’re concerned, this is just what normal life is like, so you don’t make any efforts to change your situation. 

• Example 1: You were raised in a cult from a young age. Everyone around you lives the same kind of life and has the same beliefs, so you don’t consider that there could be any other options.
• Example 2: Your partner has always abused you, just like your mom abused your dad. As far as you’re concerned, this kind of behavior is just what happens in intimate relationships.

(2) Mirage You could climb out of the pit, but you don’t believe you can. You’ve convinced yourself the walls are twice as high as they are or that you’re not strong enough to make it. Perhaps this belief is the product of “learned helplessness”: you tried and failed to get out of the pit in the past, so you’ve learned that it’s easier not to try.

• Example 1: You hate your job, but you’re convinced that if you quit, you’ll fail to get hired anywhere else. Because of this, you don’t try to change your situation even though you’re deeply unhappy.
• Example 2: You are convinced that it would be nearly impossible for you to find a romantic partner (due to many rejections you experienced early in life), so you don’t bother going on dates or trying to meet people you find attractive.

(3) Inevitability You’re convinced that if you get out of this pit, you’ll just end up in another one – one which could be even worse – so there’s no point in leaving. At least this pit is familiar to you. 

• Example 1: You’re depressed, and you know there are treatments out there that could help you, but you’re convinced that the world is just a bad, miserable place and that you’ll always find something to be unhappy about. Because of this, you don’t make any effort to tackle your depression.
• Example 2: You’re not happy with your current partner, but you’re convinced that any other relationship you could have would be just as bad. You conclude that it’s probably you that’s defective, not the relationship, and decide to stick with it.

 Social Traps: pits caused by social dynamics

These traps are the product of relationships with other people – relationships that might be actively unhealthy or relationships whose success we take too much responsibility for.

(4) Prison of Solidarity

You could leave the pit, but there’s someone stuck in there with you. If you think of leaving, you feel so guilty, or they get so sad when they find out that you abandon the plan.

• Example 1: Your roommate is severely depressed. It’s harming you, but you know that their life is improved by your presence, and you don’t want to move out for fear that they’ll be even more unhappy. 
• Example 2: You committed to completing a project with a friend, but it has been beset by expensive and time-consuming setbacks. It is seriously affecting the quality of your life, but you don’t want to leave your friend alone to deal with it.

(5) Coerced Confinement

You could climb out of the pit, but whenever you try, someone uses manipulation to rope you back in or threatens you with bad consequences if you leave.

• Example 1: Your spouse is abusive and threatens to spread terrible lies about you and turn all of your friends against you if you leave. Understandably, this threat keeps you from leaving, even though, in actuality, you would be better off if you left even if they go through with the threat.
• Example 2: You keep trying to quit the job you hate. Whenever you do, your boss makes you feel terrible, convincing you that you’re being ungrateful for everything the job has done for you and that you owe it to the company to stay.

Avoidance & Desire Traps: pits of fear, pain, and pleasure 

(6) Toothless Tiger

A tiger is lurking outside of the pit you’re stuck in – which you perceive as a terrible danger. Tigers are scary, so it makes sense that you’re afraid and haven’t climbed out. But what if it’s an old tiger with no teeth or claws? Now it’s your own fear that keeps you trapped in the pit.

• Example 1: You’re terrified of looking stupid or embarrassing yourself in social situations, so you avoid all interaction with other people instead of trying to face this fear. It ruins your life.
• Example 2: You’re terrified of failure, so you don’t try to do things unless it’s certain that you will succeed. This fear prevents you from accomplishing the things you find truly meaningful in life.

(7) Barbed Wire Barrier 

You could escape the pit, but it’s going to hurt a lot to climb out. You avoid the short-term pain, even though it means suffering much more serious pain in the future.

• Example 1: Neither you nor your spouse is happy in your marriage. But getting a divorce sounds stressful, humiliating, and painful. It would make everything much worse for a while. So you put off thinking about it.
• Example 2: You have a medical problem that could turn into something serious without treatment. It doesn’t bother you much right now, and the treatment is very unpleasant and would require a month of recovery. Because of this, you put off getting treatment despite the risk of complications growing.

(8) Addiction

While there are bad things about being in the pit, it also helps you cope better with some aspects of your life (even though other parts of your life suffer as a result). You can leave the pit, but you keep giving in to temptation and returning there. 

• Example 1: You’re addicted to alcohol, opiates, or pornography.
• Example 2: You know your partner is unhealthy for you, but you feel so insanely attracted to them. Every time you leave, you find yourself thinking of them all the time, and eventually, you end up calling them up. You always get back together.

Did you recognize any of these psychological traps from your own experience or from the experiences of people close to you? This article was written with brainstorming help from Kat Woods (who we’ve previously collaborated with on The Four States of Distress). 

This essay was first written on November 22, 2020, was published on the Clearer Thinking blog (with the help of the team) on November 28, 2020, and first appeared on this site on May 20, 2022.