Note: each of these examples is supposed to illustrate a somewhat extreme form of each trait for clarity purposes. Most people who have or lack each trait don’t have a form that is as extreme as is shown in these examples.

1. Extraversion vs. Introversion

“Are you coming out? It’s going to be a huge night! First we’re meeting up with Bill, Harry and Jennifer for drinks. Then stopping by the party to see the whole crew, and after, if we’re feeling it, we’ll hit up Sing Song karaoke. Then we’re hitting the clubs for the rest of the night!”

“Thanks. I appreciate the invite. I’m just going to stay in tonight. I’ve really been loving this book I’m reading. I’ve been looking forward to having the time to finish it.”

2. Conscientious vs. Nonchalant

“I can’t believe how much material this exam is going to cover! I still need to make an outline of all the material, and flashcards. Last time I color coded my outline which worked really well, though it took a long time to make. I might borrow outlines from a couple other people to see how they organize the material. I’m going to be up until 2am tonight at least.”

“Me too…but more like 4am. I have a date with World of Warcraft. You do realize this test only counts for 5% of our grade, right? I might just skip the exam actually.”

3. Social awareness vs. Social unawareness

“Let’s go talk to Sally over there, she clearly wants to get out of that conversation with Bill. Plus, I should introduce her to Ethan.”

“Wait, who’s Sally again…is she one of the new engineers? How do you know she doesn’t like Bill, did she tell you that? And is Ethan even here tonight? Why do you want to introduce them to each other anyway?”

4. Irrationality vs. Stability

“Sometimes life is so intense that I almost can’t take it. I’ll just burst out in tears in the middle of the day and have to hide in the bathroom at work. I wouldn’t have it any other way though, it’s what makes life so meaningful.”

“Crying at work you mean? I’ve done that too actually. I was at work when I found out my sister had died. It was really tough. Actually though, now that I think about it, I finished out my shift since I only had 5 minutes of it left anyway. And I don’t think I cried until later that night when I was at home alone.”

5. Aesthetic sensitivity vs. Aesthetic indifference

“Did you see the colors he painted his walls!? They made my skin crawl.”

“Wait, what color were they? And how is it even possible for colors to make your skin crawl?”

6. Sensitivity vs. Insensitivity

“Please, please don’t use glue traps. Once the mouse is stuck it will slowly starve to death. What if I help you trap it and then we can find a good place to release it outside?”

“Are you kidding me? We’re talking about a mouse! If the stupid thing weren’t so damn fast I’d stamp right on its head with my boots, that would take so much less time.”

7. Anxiety vs. Calmness

“I’ve been worried all day because I’ve been waiting for the doctor to call me with my test results. I mean, I know I probably will test negative, but what if I don’t? I wouldn’t be able to stay in school anymore, and I’m not sure I could afford the medical bills. Even if there is a 1% that I test positive, the consequences would just be so serious that it’s still a big deal. And my chances might even be worse than 1%! I really don’t need this right now, I was already really worried about the presentation I have to give to the CEO at the end of the month. What is life going to throw at me next?”

“Honestly, you just need to relax. What’s the point of worrying about all this? Worrying doesn’t change anything and you’re just stressing yourself out. Like you said, you’re really unlikely to test positive. Everything is going to be totally fine in the end.”

8. Open Mind vs. Closed Mind

“That was the coolest lecture ever, I’m so inspired right now. I can only begin to imagine what it’s like to be Prism, as a visually impaired Chinese Italian non gender binary person who spent fifteen years fighting for the medical establishment to finally recognize the alternative medical treatments that cured his own cancer! Prism has so many interesting ideas about relationships and child rearing too. I’m also really excited now to buy a few books on the diversity of social practices among First Nations people.”

“Seriously, you enjoyed that? That was literally the weirded thing I’ve ever experienced. I wanted to puke when he made us all put our arms around each other in a circle and try to open our ‘inner eye’. What does that even mean? Not to mention that half the people there were out of it on drugs of some kind. And why on earth was that woman practically naked?”

9. Authoritarianism vs. Libertarianism

“If your father wants you to move in with him and your mom, then that’s your duty as their child. Maybe your pastor can give you advice for how to make it a smooth transition.”

“It was my parents choice to have me. Just because they made that choice doesn’t mean they have control over my life. Are you serious that if you were me you would talk to a pastor for advice? Sure, I’m spiritual. But I don’t belong to a church or follow one particular set of teachings, I prefer to figure out myself what religion and spirituality mean.”

10. Optimism vs. Pessimism

“I can’t wait until vacation! We’re going to have such an incredible time together. And it’s going to be such a well deserved break after all this hard work. Plus, they’re going to announce bonuses right before we leave. Business has been great, I bet they’ll be the biggest bonuses yet. When we’re lying on the beach we can discuss the fun things we’re going to buy with all that money!”

“Vacation will be pretty fun I guess. But I’ve been thinking…the beaches get so crowded during the vacation season, maybe it would make more sense to just stay home this year. It’s pretty pointless just lying on the beach all day anyway. I know you’re excited about bonuses, but I don’t want you to get your hopes up. Business looked good this year, but our industry is about to get squeezed with all the new technology coming to market. I wouldn’t be surprised if they don’t even give us bonuses. After all, we work at a company that tries to convince consumers to buy meaningless shit they don’t need, so why would the company care about making its employees happy?”

11. Hypersexuality vs. Asexuality

“This club is amazing…it has the hottest people I’ve ever seen! I would literally sleep with anyone here. It’s hard to even focus on this conversation!”

“Oh…hmm, I guess you’re right, there are a lot of good looking people here. All the skin tight clothing and showing off of skin seems a bit gratuitous though, don’t you think?”

12. Analytical vs. Intuitive

“I’ve been thinking about social interaction a lot lately, and currently my best framework for how to start a conversation with a stranger is to make a comment about something in the surrounding context that you know the other person is already aware of. For instance, about the weather, but only if the weather is well above or below average for that season. Then, once the other person responds to your comment, you should ask them a question related to their response to get them talking further. If the person gives a really short response to your question then it probably means…”

“Can I stop you right there? Honestly, if you’re analyzing how to have social interaction you’re already doing it wrong. Just get a feel for what the other person is like. Then just say whatever feels most natural to say. Don’t overthink everything!”

13. Self-esteem vs. Self depreciation

“There are very few incredible people in the world. What are the chances that two truly unique and awesome people would find each other? I think that as a team we could achieve just about anything.”

“You keep calling me special, but honestly, I’m embarrassed to admit it, but there’s nothing special about me. Nearly everything I’ve achieved was just a result of good luck, or having unfair opportunities that other people don’t get, and I’m probably one of the least talented people to achieve what I’ve achieved. Eventually people will figure that out about me and it will all come crashing down. And when I get good opportunities I usually just mess them up or undermine myself. If there’s anything special about me, it’s that there’s something wrong with me. I screw things up. Fundamentally, not only am I ordinary, but I’m not even an especially good person, and I don’t deserve much of anything.”

One notable feature of extreme improvements, as opposed to medium-sized ones, is that they probably won’t just happen to you by chance. Medium-sized improvements can occur randomly, so it’s harder to confirm whether positive results are related to some purposeful change you’ve made. More extreme positive changes are unlikely to happen randomly, so you can be more confident that any effects are related to your efforts; coincidence could still come into play, but it is less likely.

Below is a list of very intense interventions that seem to (every once in a while) totally change a person’s life. They come with varying degrees of danger and side effects. If you’ve felt the need for improvement, yet have made limited progress despite many attempts to change, one of these intense interventions may get you unstuck. Though I recommend trying the safest ones first.

Disclaimer: some of these interventions are capable of causing substantial harm. Try them at your own risk, and always research and evaluate the risks first. The associated risks I mention are neither all-encompassing nor exhaustive. 

List of Extreme Interventions that are Occasionally Life Changing

BIOLOGICAL

1. Extended fasting (e.g., only water, no food, plus a daily multivitamin to make it somewhat safer) or intermittent fasting (e.g., don’t eat until 3 pm each day, or only eat every other day, or don’t eat any food on the weekend) [risks include GERD, malnutrition, dehydration, gallstones, tiredness, cognitive fuzziness, impaired decision making]

2. Triple chronotherapy (i.e., one 24 hour period of total sleep deprivation, followed by going to bed for the next three nights at the time when the sun sets – or 6 hours earlier than normal – sleeping about 7 hours each of those nights, and using a very bright light such as a strong S.A.D. light as soon as you wake up each morning) [risks include poor judgment during the intervention, temporary sleep deprivation-induced insanity, and post-intervention insomnia]

3. Large amounts of moderately intense exercise daily (e.g., 1 hour on an elliptical machine) or shorter amounts of extremely intense exercise daily (e.g., 20 minutes of HIITs or sprinting with short breaks, making sure to get a “runner’s high” each time if possible) [risks include injuries of many forms and rhabdomyolysis]

4. Drastic long term diet change (e.g., completely quitting sugar, going vegan, going paleo, cutting out “inflammatory” foods, cutting out all gluten, drinking way more water, a ketogenic diet with very low carbs with reduced protein until your body switches to using ketones for fuel, etc.) [risks include fatigue, cognitive fuzziness, muscle loss, severe nutritional deficiencies, and severe negative biological reactions to a restricted or new diet]

5. Standard medical treatment used for previously undiagnosed medical problems (e.g., a CPAP machine to treat sleep Apnea, insulin to treat diabetes, thyroid supplementation for people with thyroid issues, vitamins for vitamin deficiencies, etc.) [may lead to multiple side effects depending on the treatment]

6. Significant weight loss (if you feel you are substantially overweight and that it is causing you substantial problems) [risks include fatigue, cognitive fuzziness, muscle loss, gallstones, dehydration, malnutrition, impaired decision making]

7. Surgical interventions for medical issues (e.g., LASIK for bad vision or sinus surgery for breathing problems) [risks include all sorts of problems from surgical error and complications]

8. The Betty Dodson Method for female anorgasmia in women [risks include desensitization to other forms of stimulation]

9. Electroconvulsive therapy (e.g., for extreme treatment-resistant depression) [risks memory loss and cognitive impairment]

PHARMACOLOGICAL

1. Psychiatric medication for mental health issues (e.g., antidepressants for depression, or lithium for bipolar disorder) [risks include fatigue, weight change, severe sexual side effects, loss of emotionality]

2. Psychedelics (e.g., ayahuasca or psilocybin) [risks include impaired judgment, forming radical false beliefs, and triggering mania or psychosis]

3. Low doses of ketamine (e.g., for treatment-resistant depression) [risks include numerous potential side effects]

4. Microdosing (e.g., taking a tiny amount of psilocybin or L.S.D. once per week for a few weeks) [risks include impaired judgment and triggering mania or psychosis]

5. Placing very bright lights throughout your home (used during the day) [risks include eye damage and fire hazards]

6. Quitting drugs or alcohol [risks include extreme withdrawal symptoms which, in some cases, are dangerous]

7. Quitting cigarettes [risks include extreme withdrawal symptoms for some people]

PSYCHOLOGICAL

1. Daily meditation (e.g., 20 minutes each morning) or long silent meditation retreats (e.g., ten-day Vipassana events) [risks include dissociation, mental breakdowns and triggering mania or psychosis]

2. Therapy for mental health issues (e.g., Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for depression or anxiety, therapy for an eating disorder, therapy for O.C.D., therapy for PTSD, therapy for alcoholism, etc.) [risks include re-experiencing trauma, uncovering unpleasant truths, and unpredictable psychological shifts]

3. Therapy for general well-being (i.e. to gain insight, feel more accepted, learn to modify your behaviors, learn emotional control strategies, or improve relationships) May include Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Dialectic Behavior Therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Gestalt Therapy, Psychodynamic Therapy, Family Therapy, Behavioral Activation, Humanistic Therapy, Existential Therapy, Interpersonal Therapy, Mindfulness-based Cognitive Therapy, Internal Family Systems, etc. [risks include re-experiencing trauma, uncovering unpleasant truths, and unpredictable psychological shifts]

4. Near-death experiences (obviously you should never do this on purpose, but it sometimes happen against our own will)

5. Altruism in an emotionally intense context, such as volunteering to work with dying children [risks include depression or despair]

6. Ultra-stimulus deprivation (e.g., only eat bland healthy foods and drink water, don’t watch T.V. or play video games, don’t masturbate or look at porn, don’t use social media, don’t read fiction if you find it addictive, etc.) [risks include depression, boredom or numbness]

7. Cultivate self-compassion (e.g., reading the book “Self-compassion”)

8. Building a “map” of your own psychology, beliefs, or value system (e.g., by asking why you care about each thing that you think you care about, asking why you believe each of the important things you believe, and asking why you take each important or harmful behavior that you take, and in doing so trying to dig to the root of your values, beliefs, and behaviors – for instance, try our Intrinsic Values Test to get started) [risks include uncovering unpleasant truths, developing new fears, and unpredictable psychological shifts]

9. Fully accepting an extremely difficult or hard to accept truth that you have been in denial about [risks include depression and anxiety]

10. Quitting playing video games if you are addicted [risks include temporary boredom or feelings that life is dull]

11. Developing compassion for all beings (e.g., through compassion meditation or visualization) [risks include social isolation]

12. Exposure therapy or rejection therapy for introversion or social anxiety [risks include intense anxiety, making others feel uncomfortable if not done properly, or temporary experiences of rejection]

13. Viewing a moving presentation or lecture that convinces you to focus on the important things in life (e.g., the Last Lecture) [risks include depression]

14. Reading a life-changing book (e.g., books I’ve heard people say changed their lives, though I haven’t read them all, include, “Feeling Good,” “When Panic Attacks,” “Peace is Every Step,” “Self-Compassion,” “The Forever Decision,” “How To Control Alcohol,” “The Power of Habit,” “Man’s Search for Meaning,” “Gift of Fear,” “The Power of Vulnerability,” “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck,” “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff,” “Codependency No More,” “The Power of Now,” “Models: Attract Women Through Honesty,” “The Five Love Languages,” “Why Does He do That”) [risks include developing false beliefs, trusting potentially bad advice, and unpredictable psychological changes]

15. Being mindful about emotions you are feeling in the body and when those emotions change (e.g., by tracking on a note pad each time you notice your emotion change for one week, and jotting down how and why you think it changed each time)

16. Using the “Focusing” technique to gain self-insight [risks include developing false theories about yourself or unpredictable psychological shifts]

17. Succeeding at something that previously seemed impossible for you (or perhaps anyone) to do (e.g., firewalking or a challenging physical feat that you train for) [risks include negative psychological effects of failing and injury attempting the feat]

18. Quitting something you have been addicted to for a long time (e.g., alcohol, porn, sugar, cigarettes).

IDENTITY-RELATED

1. Devoting yourself totally to a cause much bigger than yourself (e.g., joining an extreme or radical tight-knit movement or community that has a big mission) [risks include devaluing yourself, accidentally joining a cult, imprisonment, and forming false beliefs]

2. Going public with an identity that you’ve been keeping secret or beginning to live in line with that identity (e.g., going public with the fact that you are gay or polyamorous or that you identify with a gender that’s different than the one you were assigned at birth) [risks include anxiety and social rejection]

3. Committing yourself to an extremely challenging goal, such as climbing a mountain or racing in an Ironman Triathlon [risks include the dangers of the goal itself or negative feelings if you fail]

4. Surgical interventions related to your identity or how others perceive you (e.g., gender reassignment surgery, or plastic surgery on your body part that you’ve always hated the look of) [risks include the possibility of regret post-surgery, and surgical error and complications]

5. Hormone treatments for gender reassignment [risks include numerous side effects]

6. Forgiving yourself for something bad you’ve done [risks include being less cautious about avoiding the same mistake]

7. Becoming religious or spiritual or quitting your religion [risks include forming false beliefs or being manipulated by others or feeling obligated to engage in practices you don’t like]

8. Committing yourself into an inpatient medical or inpatient mental health treatment center [risks include negative effects from being around sick or mentally unwell patients, not getting the treatment you hoped for, and potentially not being released when you would like to be]

9. Changing your name legally to distance yourself from a past or family that you don’t want to be associated with any more [risks include annoyances around getting all of your identification replaced]

ENVIRONMENTAL

1. Traveling around the world alone [risks include being robbed, kidnapped, injured or killed and contracting serious diseases]

2. Spending a long stretch of time fully in nature (e.g., hike outdoors alone or with a friend for a month, or camp deep in a forest with friends for a month) [risks include injury without being able to get help, contracting serious diseases, being attacked by animals, dissociation and social isolation]

3. Going to Burning Man [risks include dehydration]

4. Quitting a job or career that you hate or switching to one you think you will love [risks include hating your new job or becoming unemployed]

5. Completely changing your living environment (e.g., moving out of your parent’s house, in with friends, into an intentional community, to a different country, going to college/university, etc.) [risks include not liking the new living environment]

6. Becoming financially stable or independent, or getting yourself out of debt

7. Making a change that substantially increases your personal freedom or autonomy (e.g., learning to drive when previously you had no way to get around)

8. Quitting all forms of social media

9. Keeping your physical environment dramatically cleaner/tidier (e.g., see The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up)

10. Trying, at minimum, one new thing you’ve never done before each week, for a few months.

11. Going through military training, or finishing your time in the military [risks include severe psychological changes from military training and death or injury from battle]

12. Declaring bankruptcy if you are broke and owe money [risks including having to liquidate some of your assets, it may stay on your credit history for a decade]

SOCIAL

1. Falling in love, getting married or divorced, starting a new relationship or breaking up with your partner, especially getting out of a toxic or abusive relationship [risks include being rejected or hurt by the person you love, or having your heart broken]

3. Joining a completely different culture than your own (that appeals to you greatly) and immersing yourself in it fully, or learning a second language and living around people who speak it

4. Undergoing an intervention that is planned by your loved ones, for instance for an addiction that you have [risks include damage to your relationships with the people involved]

5. Completely removing harmful people from your life

6. Completely changing your friend group (e.g., to people that are like the person you want yourself to be) [risks include loneliness or social rejection]

7. Getting pregnant / having a child [risks include dying or getting sick during childbirth, not being able to afford the costs of a child, increased stress, the child having genetic conditions that will make he or she suffer, postpartum depression, and challenges with child rearing]

8. Getting a dog or cat or other pet [risks include the animal behaving very badly or dying]

9. Reuniting with people you have been estranged from, forgiving people who have harmed you, making amends with people you have harmed, etc. [risks include letting harmful people back into your life]

10. Allowing yourself to open up to and be much more vulnerable around others when you’ve been closing yourself off or protecting yourself [risks include others taking advantage of your vulnerability]

11. Spending dramatically more time socializing than you do now (especially if you have social anxiety or weak social skills) [risks include social rejection]

12. Learning and practicing a new set of rules for social engagement (e.g., Non-Violent Communication, or DEARMAN from D.B.T.) [risks include learning artificial rules instead of intuitively effective responses]

13. Finding a mentor or a person who completely believes in you and encourages you [risks including being let down by this person or not being able to find anyone to play this role]

14. Experiencing the death of a loved one.

15. Becoming a mentor to someone (e.g., taking on the responsibility of helping them in every way that you can and determining to be their inspiration, guide, role model, confidant, and advocate) [risks include depression or guilt if your mentee is doing badly, or letting your mentee down]

16. Finding a social environment where people are highly supportive of you.

17. Making a substantial effort to improve your relationship with your parents or family members.

If your life is not where you want it to be, and you feel like nothing you are trying has worked, consider one of the extreme interventions above. Perhaps one of these will radically improve your life, as they have done for others. Just be careful to research and take into account the relevant risks!