When we’re given a request, there is generally a deeper intention underneath it. If we get curious for a moment and think/inquire about why the request is being made, we can often provide more value.

Example 1: Relationship

Romantic partner: I’d prefer it if you respond to my text messages faster.

Normal answer: sure, I’ll try to do that from now on.

Seeking the root: sure, I’ll try to do that from now on. Just so I can understand better, though: are you asking that because it’s more convenient to get a faster response, or is there another reason that you prefer that I respond more quickly?

Example 2: Restaurant

Customer: could you put soy milk in my coffee?

Normal answer: sorry, we don’t have soy milk.

Seeking the root: sorry, we don’t have soy milk. If you’d prefer not to have dairy milk, we do have oat milk. Would you like that?

Example 3: Startup

User: it would be great if you could add this feature to your product.

Normal answer: thanks for the feedback; we’ve noted your feature request.

Seeking the root: we’d love to know why is it that you would value having that feature? What problem would it solve for you?

Example 4: Office

Boss: please get me XYZ by Tuesday.

Normal answer: no problem.

Seeking the root: no problem. So that I can do the task as well as possible, it would be helpful to know what you will be using XYZ for.

Example 5: Data science

Product manager: we need you to calculate this statistic.

Normal answer: sure, I’ll take care of that.

Seeking the root: sure, I’ll take care of that. But could you tell me a bit more about what problem you’re trying to solve with it? There may be other analyses I could do that would also help.

A caveat: beware of doing what YOU think someone wants, rather than what they ask for. [H/T Romeo Stevens.] The goal of seeking the root is not to override someone’s request but rather to better understand it.

So when you get a request, and you want to add value, get curious, and try “seeking the root.” Too often, we take requests literally and narrowly without understand the deeper intention behind them. This prevents us from fulfilling them as well as we are able.

This idea was inspired by the writing of @RayDalio, who talks about related concepts.

This also relates to the “XY” problem [H/T Arun Bharatula].