A lot of psychological terms don’t mean what people think they mean (at least, not according to psychologists).
There’s an increasing drift between how they get used colloquially in everyday language and the commonly accepted definitions among psychologists. There’s a sense in which the lay usage is “wrong” (in that it doesn’t match more scientific, precise, or technical usage), but of course, language has always been and always will be in flux. At the end of the day, a word does mean what people widely use it to mean. So I think it’s useful to be aware of both definitions for psychological concepts. The everyday concept helps us understand others, whereas the more technical definition is usually more helpful for helping us understand the way the world works. Here’s a list of examples:
1) Gaslighting
Everyday usage: Someone invalidating your perspective or lying to you in order to manipulate you
Precise usage: Manipulation that specifically causes someone to doubt their own senses or their ability to reason
2) Negative reinforcement
Everyday usage: Something bad happens when you do a behavior, so you do it less
Precise usage: Removal of an aversive stimulus after a behavior is engaged in, causing that behavior to increase (not a form of punishment). This is in contact with positive reinforcement, which adds a desirable stimulus after a behavior (which is a different way to get a behavior to increase).
3) OCD
Everyday usage: being a neat freak or someone who needs things done in a specific way
Precise usage: A disorder involving repetitive, intrusive obsessions and/or compulsions (behaviors performed to reduce anxiety) that are time‑consuming or impair function
4) Depression
Every day usage: feeling sad a lot
Precise usage: an ongoing near-daily pervasive depressed mood (sadness, emptiness, and/or hopelessness) or loss of interest or pleasure, that coincides with symptoms like fatigue, suicidality, poor concentration, weight change, or feelings of worthlessness.
5) Antisocial
Everyday usage: a desire to avoid being around other people
Precise usage: a personality disorder (ASPD) involving pervasive disregard for or violation of the rights of others, typically involving deceit, manipulativeness, aggression, and a lack of empathy/remorse.
6) Narcissist
Everyday usage: someone who is self-centered or very vain
Precise usage: a personality disorder (NPD) involving a grandiose sense of self-importance and superiority, need for admiration, and reduced empathy.
7) Trauma
Everyday usage: A very upsetting experience
Precise usage: Exposure to someone dying, serious injury, or sexual violence (DSM), or another extremely threatening or horrific event that has a long-lasting negative impact on a person’s mental function
While there’s a time for going with the flow of culture, and using words however people casually use them, there’s an important role for more technically precise terminology as well. In the cases above, I believe the technical versions of these words are worth knowing about and understanding.
This piece was first written on November 7, 2025, and first appeared on my website on November 18, 2025.
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