Comments on: Adapting Your Expectations for Friendship

By: Bill Brubacher

Bill Brubacher — Sat, 08 Jan 2022 14:42:38 +0000

At my age time is precious and I won’t waste it on people with whom I have to compromise too much of myself for their self centreredness.

By: Heike

Heike — Wed, 21 Aug 2019 20:01:44 +0000

Great post, Spencer! This is an idea I haven’t considered before – though I’ve spent time trying to define “friendship” and consider the different people in my life. Adapting expectations is a great idea.

By: gen

gen — Tue, 31 May 2016 19:16:26 +0000

very very helpful!! thank you!

By: BStar

BStar — Fri, 12 Dec 2014 20:08:59 +0000

This article really helped me in my friendship thank you!

By: Andrew Burgon

Andrew Burgon — Wed, 05 Nov 2014 12:33:44 +0000

Hi Spenser, thoughtful post, thanks.
“How can I adapt to the way he is likely to behave so that his negative traits become less problematic and bother me less?”
I have in the past come up with strategies to neutralize a friend’s unpleasant side. I benefited from it and my friends do as well. Take for example, an uptight friend who is highly critical of movies. Take him to see a movie he thought was trash and his harsh criticisms after it’s over may be unpleasant and he may even go so far as to say how on earth could you have taken him to see a movie like this! By only going to see movies you know he wants to see and he thinks will be good his behavior is likely to no longer be an issue.

By: Why friends are important! | blog4friendship

Why friends are important! | blog4friendship — Tue, 20 May 2014 12:47:42 +0000

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By: Dream 5: Part 2 | kuriouskaren

Dream 5: Part 2 | kuriouskaren — Wed, 05 Jun 2013 14:36:30 +0000

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By: rmehta

rmehta — Sat, 09 Feb 2013 12:16:02 +0000

What if these individuals are family members? I’d be interested to hear your perspective on how this formula might change or remain the same.

By: Ilya Kipnis

Ilya Kipnis — Sun, 14 Aug 2011 05:05:17 +0000

Of course, this assumes that you’re around these people long enough to come to an understanding of their flaws to begin with.

But given that assumption, then yes, this is a very sound line of reasoning.

By: Naomi Arbit

Naomi Arbit — Sat, 13 Aug 2011 17:56:56 +0000

Great article. Very measured, practical advice. I couldn’t agree more 🙂